Whether you’ve been single for years or you’ve never had a girlfriend… I’m going to show you step by step how to get one in less than 90 days from now.
So you want to get a girlfriend but you just don’t know how, right?
I get it, I’ve been there.
In fact it was one of the hardest things for me to do when I started out.
I would get a bunch of numbers, go on dates and have some casual sex, but for whatever reason I just couldn’t get a girlfriend.
Women would give me excuses like “Oh, I really like you as a friend but I don’t see you as boyfriend material” or “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now”. Things would just fizzle out.
Same old story, time and time again.
However it all started to change for me a few years back.
I began using techniques that I’m going to be teaching you today, that turned me into a girlfriend grabbing machine.
Women would ask ME if I wanted to be their boyfriend.
And these girls were BEAUTIFUL… I’m talking 8+.
So keep reading this until the very end, because I’m going to give you the secrets to getting a girlfriend within 90 days from now.
What Kind Of Results Can You Expect From Using The “Girlfriend Grabber Method”?
On Feb 13th 2015, I met the girl who would eventually be my wife.
After many years of dating, I found her using the exact same techniques I teach you in this post.
We initially met in a bar and I knew immediately that she was a potential girlfriend. She was smart, sober and disarmingly honest all very early on.
After exchanging numbers, we went on a few more dates and I got to know her more.
A long story short… this year I asked her to marry me.
You can read the full story here.
But here’s the thing.
I only used a couple of the steps from my method and I ended up getting married.
So you can only imagine the types of results you will get if you follow each of the steps.
Here’s exactly what you’re going to learn today:
- Step #1: Your mindset and how to hack it
- Step #2: The “frequential pickup” technique
- Step #3: Meeting women during the day
- Step #4: Meeting women in bars and clubs
- Step #5: Where to find an abundance of women
- Step #6: How to filter out bad women
- Step #7: Bridging the gap… is she the right one?
- Step #8: How to make her your girlfriend
Are you ready to get started?
Step 1: The Mindset “Hack” That Will Help You Find A Girlfriend In A Quarter Of The Time It Usually Would
I want to ask you a question.
What type of girl do you actually want?
Before you can even think about using any of the techniques listed here.
You need to be able to describe the type of girl you want as your girlfriend in detail.
So here’s what I want you to do right now…
- Grab a piece of paper
- Write at the very top [What I want in a girlfriend]
- Describe the type of girl you want, one quality/attribute per line
It doesn’t need to be a novel or anything. Just bullet points and a small description next to each point.
For example, on my list, I wrote things like:
- Very kind to others: I don’t want a selfish woman
- Independent: She needs to have a mind of her own and not do what her friends tell her to do
- Curious about life: An interest in learning new things
- Health conscious: Takes pride in her appearance and eats clean
- Can teach me things: I want to be challenged mentally
You can even take it one step further by describing her physical attributes like hair colour, style, age etc.
An important thing to remember is that you should focus on the items on your list that CAN’T easily be changed.
What I mean by that is, if a girl you like matches most of your list but she’s a smoker, that can quite easily be changed so shouldn’t be a deal-breaker.
But if she’s selfish and rude, that would take too much time to change in a relationship and might not be worth the trouble.
So don’t compromise on the essentials. They are there for a reason.
Now, once you have this list, several interesting things will begin to happen.
You will notice that girls will be more attracted to you, because you are becoming more selective and fussy.
You will also waste less time by being around women that don’t match your criteria for a girlfriend.
But that’s not all…
You will develop a natural filtration system and it will subconsciously make you do the right things (I.e seek out women that you want).
So as you can see, this is an incredibly powerful step.
I strongly urge you to do this now, before reading the rest of this post.
Anyway… let’s get on with the “Girlfriend Grabber Method”:
Step 2: Using The “Frequential Pickup” Technique To Meet More Women Every Day
One of the best things I ever did to increase my chances of meeting more women was to use what I like to call the “Frequential Pickup” technique.
It works like this…
Everyday you are seeing women that could make a potential girlfriend, but you’re not doing anything to attract them.
There may be this cute girl at work that you like, a stunning barista at Starbucks, a hottie in your local restaurant, a fine looking neighbour… whatever.
What this technique allows you to do is use familiarity to build trust, rapport and eventually get a date.
So for example…
Let’s say you have a hot neighbour that you’d love to get to know.
Here’s how to use “Frequential Pickup” to develop rapport and ask her out on a date.
First meet – Say “Hello”: Every time you see her, say “hello” or nod your head and say “hey”.
Second meet – Say “How’s it going?”: She’s seen your face and knows you live in the same building, so now you can start to hook her. Say, “hey, how are you?” or “hey, how’s it going?”.
You’re not expecting an answer to this question, it’s just an extension of hello.
Third meet – Say “Hey, do you live here?”: This is where you can start to build a rapport with her and open up a dialogue. Saying “I’ve seen you around here a few times”, is an easy way to segue into a conversation.
This is usually a good time to say something like “I’m Richard by the way”, she will then give you her name and you can use that in future when saying hello.
Every meet after: After about five meetings, she will be familiar with you and feel comfortable talking to you for extended periods of time.
Use this to invite her out.
But not on a “date”, because that’s too obvious and forward. Also it could get awkward living in the same building.
Say something like “I’m out tonight with a bunch of friends, we have a table. You’re more than welcome to join if you want?”
Because of the familiarity and the fact you’re not being direct, she will usually say yes.
At which point you can exchange phone numbers and take it from there.
The “Frequential Pickup” technique works for all types of situations:
- Office co-worker
- Coffee shop
- Department store
It’s known as the long game, because you’re focusing on building up an attractive lifestyle instead of being aggressive with each pickup.
Right then… let’s discuss meeting women during the day…
Step 3: The Two Best Ways To Meet And Approach Women During The Day
Day game in my opinion is the easiest way to meet women.
It’s far easier than night game and the amount of women you can meet in a single day, week or month is limited only by you.
With night game, you are limited by location and the quality of women in the venue.
Not only that but women are different when are with friends and going to a club, than they are just hanging out in a coffee shop, sipping on a green tea.
Ok, so what are the best ways to meet and approach women during the day?
The first one is…
This is basically being direct with women and telling her why you approached her. You are cutting through the bullshit and showing your true intentions.
The second is…
In a nutshell, it’s asking for directions or advice to help build rapport and transition to a close. It’s a less threatening and seems more natural.
Let me give you an example of each one in action:
Direct game example
You stop a girl in the street and say “Excuse me, I just saw you walk by and I had to come over and say something, I think you look really nice. Hi my name is Richard”.
“Excuse me, can I just stop you for a second. I really need to tell you something… I love your style, you look very European”.
Indirect game example
With an indirect approach you can say something like “Excuse me, are you from around here? I’m trying to find [any shop], do you know where it is?”
“Hey, excuse me. Can I ask your advice on something really quickly? I need a female opinion on this shirt I just bought”.
Now aside from actually approaching random attractive women during the day, there is one other way you can meet them with ease.
Through your social circle (more about social circles later on).
Organise day trips, go to the beach, the park, visit festivals etc.
If you utilise your social circle correctly, you will be able to find an endless supply of women.
Ok, so that’s day game.
Now let’s look at night game…
Step 4: How To Pickup Women In Nightclubs And Bars With 0% Chance Of Rejection… Yes, Seriously
I know what you’re thinking.
“0%? That’s ridiculous dude, it’s not possible”.
Trust me, if you do night game the right way (which I will to show you soon) then you will have a very minimal chance of failure.
The funny thing is… 99% of guys are approaching women completely wrong in clubs and bars.
Here’s how it usually goes…
They get drunk.
Wait until they have enough confidence “liquid courage”.
Then make their move and hope they don’t get rejected.
Not only is this totally counter productive, it’s also expensive!
So how do you pick up women in bars and clubs without getting rejected?
You become the “Social Influencer”.
You must be the guy that everyone wants to party with, invite out and… sleep with.
The social influencer knows the manager, he knows the bar staff, he introduces cool people to other cool people and he has a solid social circle.
Most importantly… he has the hottest women around him, because he’s seen as high value. Which gives him epic levels of social proof.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
In order for you to meet women in bars and clubs, you have to think differently to other men.
So here’s how to pickup women in nightclubs and bars with 0% chance of rejection…
Step #1: Go to high end clubs
Forget the local bar, pub or nightclub that all the dodgy locals like to get hammered at.
It’s time for you to go upscale.
Only go to clubs that are considered “high end”.
These are the types of venues that attract models, rich guys, cool guys and influencers.
Step #2: Look for cool guys (and buddy up)
Now, when you’re actually inside the club, you don’t want to go into your normal mentality of getting drunk and chasing girls. Oh no no.
The first thing you should do is scope out the place.
Look for cool guys that are hanging around hot girls, have drinks at a table and are having a great time.
These are the guys that you want to buddy up with.
But how do you do that?
Easy. Play to their ego…
Say something like “Dude, how much is this table setting you back? I’m thinking of getting one with me and my friends”.
This is your in.
Use this to keep a conversation going.
What this does is make you look like you know him. People on the table will see you talking to him, girls will notice also.
So it’s social proof by association.
Another good thing to do is to buddy up with the managers, bar staff and table girls. This is advanced night game.
Don’t be overly friendly or flirty. Just be cool, simple conversations that you can use over time to build a relationship with them.
Step #3: Get an attractive girl “friend”
This is a shortcut, but it works.
Take an attractive girl (maybe someone you’ve spoken to during the day or even a personal assistant) and outsource the approaching to her.
Her job is to go around the club opening girls for you and then introducing them to you.
You will have immediate social proof because she’s hot, plus you don’t have to do any of the approaching. Cool huh?
This is what I do in every new city.
Step #4: Introduce hot girls to rich guys
One of the best ways to get in on a table and take advantage of rich guys, is by offering them value.
How do you do that?
Well, you give them what they want… hot girls and a good time.
There will be hot girls scattered all over the club. It’s your job to bring those girls to the table and act as if you know them.
This will get you in with the rich guys (social value) and make you look good in front of the girls who now know you as a social influencer (social proof).
I’ve used this trick dozens of times and it works like a charm.
You might be thinking “Why would the girls follow you to some dudes table?”. Well because they want free drinks and a good night out.
Step #5: Hook and release
In a club or bar, it’s more about dynamics and playing women off each other to your advantage.
So don’t be aggressive with pursuing girls.
Let them come to you.
The best way to do this is by flirting with them (pouring drinks, dancing, touching them) which hooks them in.
Then release them, by doing the same thing with other girls around you and not paying much attention to them.
What this does is show that you’re a social fun guy, so they will actually fight for your attention.
Whilst we’re on the subject of social proof.
I want to explain one of the most powerful methods for attracting women.
Social circle game…
6 Reasons Why You Need To Start Building A Social Circle Right Now If You Want A Girlfriend
Social circles are VERY POWERFUL.
If you set them up right, they will hand deliver you women on a regular basis.
I didn’t start getting laid regularly until I worked on creating a solid social circle with a very cool group of people.
I’m going to first explain why I think having a social circle is so important and then show you exactly how to set one up step by step.
Why social circles are great…
1. Girls want to party with you
When you are seen as a “Social Influencer”, women will actively chase you to find out where the best party is.
You see, hot women are bored and they have lots of options.
So when they know a guy (you) who knows other cool guys, other beautiful women and goes to the best parties. They want in.
2. People will invite you out
Once word gets out that you are a cool guy to hang out with, you will get invited out by both men and women.
You see, the girls know you’re cool and want to hang out with you, because you aren’t the regular sleazy guy in the clubs that hits on them all the time.
And the guys know that you hang out with hot girls and other cool/rich guys, so they want to be around you for that.
You offer REAL value.
You are a producer, not a consumer.
Invites aren’t limited to just clubs or bars either. You will be invited on holiday, to festivals, day trips, gigs, after parties etc.
3. Girls will compete for you
Women are social creatures.
They like men with status.
Now that you have social proof, girls will be throwing themselves at you, because they are competitive.
They want to be seen with you and more importantly they want to sleep with you.
It’s quite extraordinary when you see it happen actually.
You start to feel like a boss.
4. Cool guys will introduce you to women
Dudes who party or have attractive lifestyles tend to attract other cool guys into their life.
When this happens, you will be introduced to their connections eventually.
Now you have a chance to widen your social circle, solidify even more social proof and be introduced to even more women.
5. Women will introduce you to other women
There’s is nothing more influential than an attractive woman, introducing you to another attractive woman.
It’s unbelievable how much social proof this gives you.
Especially if they have good things to say about you.
You’ve just blown past all the awkward approaches, boring first dates and rejections.
6. You don’t need to approach… ever
Once your social circle is in place, you will NEVER have to approach another girl again.
Because you’ll be introduced to them regularly.
Then all you need to do is use the “Frequential Pickup” technique I showed you above to build familiarity and trust which eventually leads to attraction.
The more women feel comfortable around you, the more likely they are to sleep with you and date you.
Of course when you get good at social circle game, some women will just throw themselves at you… these are not the types of women you want as a girlfriend.
So now you know why you need a social circle, let’s look at some of the places that women frequent often.
Step 5: The Top 7 Places To Pickup High Quality Women
Women are everywhere… But, high quality women are not.
There’s a BIG difference.
Over the years, I’ve approached thousands of women all over the world and I’ve noticed that there are certain places that have the highest number of quality women.
Let me explain what those places are and why are they are so damn good…
1. Shopping malls
Why they are good: Shopping malls are a fishbowl for women and the perfect place to approach, without running out of prospects.
The same goes for a busy high street or area like London’s Oxford street or Soho in NYC. They are magnets for women, both in groups and shopping on their own.
Best way to approach: I would avoid groups if you’re just starting out and just go for the women that are wandering around not looking busy.
Ask them for directions and act as if you’re lost. Depending on how she responds, you should then continue building rapport and ask her to join you for a quick coffee.
2. Coffee shops
Why they are good: Any popular area in town will always have a coffee shop. Women are for some reason addicted to these damn places.
They are almost always alone, reading a book or working on a laptop. Lunchtime is usually the best time though.
Best way to approach: If they are alone, I would approach indirectly with a question. You can be direct, but because she’s relaxing/working, you may improve your chances of being rejected.
Why they are good: Depending on the festival, you can get some high quality women at these places.
Also, you don’t need to limit yourself to music festivals. You can try food festivals, film festivals, arts and crafts festivals.
The potential is really endless.
Best way to approach: I would go with a mixed group of friends, so men and women. That way it’s easier to approach girls in pairs or groups, without looking like you’re hitting on them.
4. Tourist hotspots
Why they are good: Tourists are on holiday, they are somewhat bored and don’t always know what to do, which is perfect as you can show them around.
These hotspots also attract foreign women who work locally on tourist/working visas.
Quick disclaimer: If you are meeting tourists, you need to be open to starting a relationship with someone who doesn’t live locally. Having said that, long distance doesn’t seem to work very well.
Best way to approach: Look for girls who don’t look like they know what they are doing. So they are looking around, looking at their phone, slowly walking etc. Direct game is best here.
Why they are good: In the summertime, parks are a favourite of mine. They are perfect for direct approaching, also bringing groups of people together. You can get a lot of single girls eating lunch in the park during work also.
Best way to approach: Be direct, indirect doesn’t really work here. A social circle would also be perfect for the park, inviting multiple groups out for food etc.
6. Language classes
Why they are good: Foreign girls who are in your country trying to learn your language are prime targets.
They are very open to meeting locals, learn about the culture and are usually bored.
Best way to approach: Indirect works, the “Frequential Pickup” techniques is perfect for language classes also. Maybe even consider teaching English?
7. High-end nightclubs or bars
Why they are good: As I’ve mentioned already, high-end bars and clubs attract physically attractive women.
Bypass the regular lame venues and use the more exclusive joints.
Best way to approach: Direct works well if your game is on form, but I’ve found indirect social proof game works best. Use your social circle to do the majority of the work.
Now that you know where to find an abundance of women, let’s move onto a crucial step in the method…
Step 6: “Filtering” How To Filter Out Bad Women So You Don’t Waste Time
When you get into a rhythm of meeting women, approaching will become easier and so will setting up dates.
But now you’re presented with a new problem.
Which girl should you pursue a relationship with?
I’ve had this dilemma a few times. But it’s actually pretty simple to get around.
Just use the following filtering method to screen out bad women that will only waste your time, break your heart and don’t make good girlfriends.
1. Visual screening
What you need to do at this stage is screen women visually.
That means seeing if she’s the type of girl that you are 1) attracted to physically and 2) can see yourself dating.
Here are some questions you need to ask yourself:
- Does she match what I want physically? (Hair, body type etc)
- Does she look high maintenance? (Maybe only after money)
- Does she wear clothes that attract attention? (I.e trashy, slutty)
- Are her looks natural or fake? (Cares too much about her looks)
- Does she have tattoos? (Can mean she’s promiscuous)
- Does she smoke? (Not a great sign of health)
- Regular drug user? (Not marriage material)
- Who is she with? (Judge a person by their friends)
2. Verbal screening
The next step is to see what type of girl she is.
To do this, you need to ask her a bunch of presumptuous questions. These are basically questions that hold no judgment, but you still get the truth.
So for example, you might not want a girl that takes drugs.
Instead of saying “Do you do drugs?” which is quite an intense question, that could lead to a “no” answer even though she does.
You might want to say something like “Which drugs do you like?”.
Another example, you might want a girl that has only slept with a couple of men.
So you could say something like…
“I think it’s a shame our society portrays women in a bad light if they are sexually promiscuous. I think women should be allowed to sleep with multiple men without fear of judgement”.
Now even though you don’t believe this, she will begin to open up and tell you how she really feels.
Maybe she will agree or disagree. If she’s disagrees, then she’s a good girl.
The key here is to frame your questions in a way that makes her feel comfortable to give up information without lying or painting herself in a good light.
You want to know the REAL her.
I’d usually ask her questions that reveal the type of girl she is within the first couple of hours of meeting her.
This way, I’m not wasting any time and will be able to build a picture of her.
Ok, so now you understand how to filter the bad women out.
By now you should have a couple of girls you can see yourself in a relationship with.
What’s next is something called “bridging the gap”…
Step #7: Bridging The Gap Between First Meeting To The First Date
In this step, you should now have a couple of girls that you are interested in dating.
This is usually the point where most guys screw up.
The moment they like a girl, they put everything into texting and the attraction usually fizzles out.
Then they get frustrated, become needy and the whole cycle repeats itself.
When you get to this stage, you need to setup a first date as soon as possible.
Here’s how to do that:
1) Find out what her interests are
Ask her what she likes to do for fun, what her interests are and what she does in her spare time.
These are perfect ideas for future dates.
If she doesn’t really know what she likes to do for fun, you can help her by telling her what you like to do and then gauge her reaction to it.
2) Is she available?
A great way to setup a date with minimal rejection, is by asking her what her plans are for the next few days.
So you could say something like:
“So what are your plans for the weekend, you said you need to meet your parents on Friday”.
This allows her to explain what she’s doing, without you risking rejection by selecting a day and her turning you down.
You could also say “So you must be quite stressed with work, do you usually work late nights or do you get time off?”.
Again, you’re fishing for information on when she’s actually available to meet.
3) Arrange the date on the spot
Now that you know when she’s available, it’s time to ask her out.
First dates are usually the flakiest, but with this technique you will get close to zero flakes if you do it correctly.
Say to her “Listen, tomorrow and the day after I’m busy, but on Thursday I’m free. Why don’t we [Do the thing she’s interested in, step 1] together.”
She should say yes. If she doesn’t then you didn’t scope out her availability properly.
Tell her to put her number in your phone, then say “Cool, let’s say 8pm. I’ll text you to arrange the details”.
The details are the place you’re going to meet at.
So now you have a date set. Great.
Make sure you don’t leave the text to close to the day of the meet. Also don’t book the date too far into the future.
Now that you have the date set, let’s move onto the final part of this system…
Step #8: How To Make Her Your Girlfriend
By now you should have gone on at least two or three dates with her and been the perfect gent on those dates.
I’m going to assume that the attraction hasn’t fizzled out and you both like each other.
Well, the next step is to make her your girlfriend.
Great, how do you do this?
So, It needs to be done cleverly.
What I mean by that is she needs to WANT you to be her boyfriend before you want her to be your girlfriend. Or at least, that’s what you want her to think.
Women like to chase, they like competition and they like getting the reward (you), it keeps things exciting.
So the best way to do that is by using something called “Value Control”.
When you hold the value, she will actively seek it out, by texting you, calling you and constantly thinking about you.
So how do you use value control?
All you need to do is this:
Be a true gentleman on the dates when you see her in person. Be everything that she wants in a man.
Then after the date, be a little… cold.
Don’t give her everything she wants. Make her wait for texts, be vague in your messages and don’t be predictable.
What this actually does is make her crave your attention and question you.
Essentially she becomes addicted to you.
So for example, she might think things like:
- Does he like me?
- Did he enjoy the dates we went on?
- Is he seeing other girls?
- Why isn’t he messaging me?
- Why does he take so long to reply?
What’s happening now is you control the value.
That is the key to transitioning from boyfriend material to an actual boyfriend.
So that is the Girlfriend Grabber Method.
I guarantee you that if you use everything I’ve listed above, you will get a girlfriend in the next 90 days or less.
Before I end this post though, I want to run over a few crucial principles that will help you become the ultimate boyfriend.
6 Qualities Every Woman Wants In A Boyfriend [READ CAREFULLY]
One of the reasons why you are not attracting high quality women right now is because you aren’t considered a high value male.
Think about that for a second.
If you are working in a call centre, smoking 20 cigarettes a day, eating junk food, hating life, with no confidence and playing computer games after work.
What type of woman do you think you will attract?
Maybe a 6 at best? A slob like you basically.
You’re not showing women that you are 1) in demand “high value” and 2) a potential partner.
So things like…
- Dress sense/fashion: How you dress is more important than you think
- Manners: Being a gentleman goes along way
- Knowledge: Having views, opinions and expertise is very attractive
- Confidence/charisma: The most attractive quality in any man
- Ambition: Not accepting a normal “average” life and aspiring for more
- Trust: The number one predictor of how successful a relationship is… you guessed it, trust.
These are all inner game issues you can control that will have a profound psychological impact on you and how you act around women.
Notice I didn’t mention that you needed to be ripped or look like a model?
That’s because they don’t matter as much as what you believe and how you act with women.
5 Mistakes That Are Stopping You From Ever Getting A Girlfriend
There are mistakes you are making right now that are preventing you from getting a girlfriend.
I want that to stop TODAY.
Let’s go over them one by one:
Mistake 1: Body issues
You think that women are only attracted to guys who are attractive, tall, handsome, ripped etc.
This is not true.
Women are attracted to guys who display the manly qualities I listed above.
Yes looks help, but they don’t stand the test of time in a relationship.
Mistake 2: Neediness/insecurity
Women hate insecure men who are needy and require attention.
You have to snap out of your needy mentality, it’s not healthy and could harm future relationships.
Learn to love yourself and be independent. Confidence comes from being comfortable with you, as you are.
Mistake 3: Too socially awkward/shy around women
Everyone is socially awkward at some point. The difference between me now and me back when I was socially awkward is that I learned what not to do.
If you’re getting strange reactions from women, then you need to figure out what it is you’re doing that’s making you look bad.
Again this stems from confidence.
Being shy can be seen as cute, but it will only get you so far. True self confidence is the most attractive in a man.
Mistake 4: Communication (Texting)
You use texting as a crutch, which almost always leads to failure.
Texting is a very disconnected form of communication. You can’t see the girl, she can’t see you, it’s easy to forget a text or be bored of replying so often.
Reduce the amount of texting you do, it’s not important.
Mistake 5: Keeping up momentum (Date 2 and beyond)
Your first dates go great, but then you screw up somewhere along the line and girls don’t want to see you for a second date right?
The reason that is happening is because you’re not setting the dates up in advance and you’re giving her everything over text, which means she loses interest.
These are all things you need to consider, because they may have a negative impact on what women think of you.
Here’s What You Need To Do Next…
So there it is.
My entire Girlfriend Grabber Method laid out step by step, plus the mistakes that most guys make… oh and how to be the kind of man every woman wants.
Damn that was a lot to cover.
I really hope you enjoyed the information and also apply each of the techniques above into your life.
I promise you that if you do, you will get a girlfriend or at the very least have more women in your life than you do now.
Here’s what I want you to do next:
- Change your mindset: Decide on what your ideal girlfriend looks and acts like
- Build a social circle: You now know the importance of a social circle. Go out and build one.
- Use “frequential pickup”: Start interacting with more women every day wherever you go.
- Keep approaching: Never stop approaching women, you never know what you might run into.
- Bridge the gap: After you’ve screened your girls, set up the dates
- Transition: Decide on which girl you want to have as your girlfriend and make it happen. Remember… use “value control”.
That’s it, I’m done.
Let me know what you think of my system below… has it worked for you?